My introduction: As a kid, I remember my dad watching Hockey religiously. He still does. Back then it was all about Mario Lemiuix, Wayne Gretzy, I remember having a lot of Ottawa Senators gear (I was born in Ottawa) & Montreal Canadiens.
When I first started dating Ray, it was off-season & he was injured. I didn't really see him in his element. (*I will post about how we met & our story next!)
I never gave the whole 'hockey wives' thing a thought. Not even a consideration. I didn't know such a thing existed! I never realized that there was a clique, group, club for the girls who dated athletes. I learned that one pretty quickly. In 2010, my boyfriend signed to the Anaheim Ducks. I was so thrilled, coming out of his remarkable injury but also because, let's face it, we were headed to beautiful sunny California! Orange County at that! I remember getting dressed for this team event Ray had mentioned. "It's a charity fashion show, slash dinner thing, want to go?" he said. "Sure! What should I wear?!" I asked. I was thinking maybe I should wear a suit jacket or something. Ray told me he didn't care & to wear whatever made me most comfortable. I laid out a cute pink & cream outfit, with Harem pants that I got from Aritizia & then a more sophisticated dress. I was leaning for the Harem pants & Ray said to go for it. (ugh, what was I thinking!?) We drove to the venue, which was a hotel & I walked in & realized this was a much bigger event than I thought. More fancy too. I definitely felt underdressed. I saw the signs, "Lady Ducks Fashion Show" as I entered & thought... what the hell is a 'Lady Duck' though. Luckily, I met two of the ladies, super fashionable, blonde, beautiful & really sweet. They totally welcomed me & said I should meet the Lady heading the entire event about details on my participation for the evening. "Participation!??!" Honestly, my palms were sweating. With new people, I totally have social anxiety. Put me on a stage in front of 30,000 people, no prob! Put me in a room with people I don't know & I want to hide in a corner. So this older lady walks up to me & says.. "Hi.. I'm Cara! Awww, you are our new little baby duck! Well I'm the Queen Duck & I am the one responsible for throwing this event." Kill....mee....now!!!! That's all I could think. Then she asked me what responsibility I wanted to take part in, did I want to help in the silent auction? or sell pucks? or collect money? etc,. I was definitely stunned! (I guess no chance to hide in the corner?) The 'Queen Duck' (lol) then said to me "The Fashion Show & Dinner is taking place inside the hotel & is only for the players & for guests who are donating. All the 'WAGS' are responsible for the behind the scenes operations, fundraising, collecting money & making sure the event ran smoothly." #1, I have to commend the girls for not wanting to just take the backseat on a fun fashion event like most girls would want to, instead they were genuinely focused on raising money for an important cause, sick kids. (*See pictures from the event here) I thought that was pretty awesome! #2, WTF is a WAG?! I die. I legit had to google that shit when nobody was looking. After 15 minutes of wrapping my head around the event & Ray giving me the "are you ok?" look, I decided to get to work. I decided to put on my saleswoman A-game to help sell signed hockey pucks. I was dealing with credit card machines, keeping the line moving, repackaging & re-stocking. Once all the guests entered the fashion show, all of us girls who were hard away working out in the sun, went into a little room & sat around a round table to have our own lunch. I thought it was super awkward to be honest. Everyone was really quite at first. We all just sat there.. ate..awkwardly..staring at one another.. then finally Linda, a super hilarious girl started cracking some jokes (thank God!). Then the games began. Looking at us girls, there was a common theme. Simple girls with a passion for a lot of glamour. Chanel, Louboutin, Leather jackets, Diamonds, blonde hair. Fashionistas. American, Canadian, Swedish, Czech, Finish mainly. Some with language barrier but mainly we all could communicate with one another fine. The girls were super sweet, so pleasant, perfect & refreshingly genuine.. except for 1 or 2. This girl Sarah started our first game "What's your name, where are you from, who are you with?" Once it got to my turn I said "Keshia, Canada, Ray the goalie" Then one girl Anna looked at me & said "So.. like.. what are you? A wife, fiancé, girlfriend, do u guys live together? Or... are u like.. some...fling? How long have u been dating?". In my head I was thinking "What the fuck am I sitting on a panel with the girls from The View?!" but in my face, I showed no signs. I smiled & politely said "girlfriend. we live together. pretty fresh, just happy to be here." I got a nod & what I thought was a dirty eye look. Haha! Oh boy.. She then said "Oh you're new then. Well.. Are you working to be a wife someday?" I don't know why this bothered me so much, it was as if marrying an athlete was some big feat! Like as if it would be my life goal to achieve? Normally, I would tell a girl about herself if I felt like she was throwing shade but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. English clearly wasn't her first language & maybe it was a language barrier & she was brash without knowing. So I just answered her questions with one word answers & she moved on. Then a Canadian girl said to me "Hey.. What a minute? You're Keshia Chante right? I love your music!" She was super sweet & super pumped. Anna then looked back over at me, changing her body language in the most open way & was like "oh wow, you sing?" And then all of a sudden she was super nice to me. Yawn. Finally lunch was over, we spent 3 more hours dealing with the event & by the end of it, $100,000 dollars was raised. Success! Luckily majority of the Lady Ducks were awesome & I ended up having a great time. So with that, I'm not sure my first 'WAG' experience was all that positive. After that, I finished working on my third album, traveling back & forth from Toronto Canada to OC, California. After chatting around with different girls from various teams, I heard mega horror stories about wag groups in general & it just left a bad taste in my mouth. Luckily, that perspective changed.
Fastforward, Ray plays for 2 years for the Chicago Blackhawks & honestly, as an only child, I never thought I could love a group of girls so much. I was around to witness new relationships, engagements, weddings, baby showers, new babies being born, etc,. It was really such a fun thing! We became like family! During Chicago's Stanley Cup Winning Year (2012-13), I took a break from work. Ray really wanted me to be around 24/7 & I love spending time with him! It is super flattering to be with someone who genuinely wants to spend every day with you & experience new things together. With the type of schedule athletes have, it's hard to have quality time. The days & hours are so abnormal & all over the place. Definitely not a Mon to Fri, 9 to 5 situation where you can have a system. Even though this disorganized lifestyle grinded my OCD gears, Ray wanted me there to support him 100%. And I realize now, that most hockey players, or athletes, feel this same way.
So with that, I stayed my ass at home. At the start of the Season, I literally wanted to bang my head into a cement wall. I was SO bored. It was actually painful. I've worked since I was 13, making my own money, providing for my family, busy non-stop, literally doing homework on the plane flying to a city to record music regularly. Like I mean go, go, go for a solid 10 years straight. Not working was like the plague, death, kill me now. When Ray was home, obviously it was fun, we would stay in and cuddle, or do dinner, or movies. I can spend all day with him, but when he had practice or away games, just bruts! I would wake up at 10am, with no plans or nowhere to be. I dragged my feet around & did anything & everything to keep busy. I would go get blow-out's 3 times a week, get my nails done, go tanning, get a massage (literally at Bliss Spa 4 times a week), shopping galore (from home deliveries to store clerks texting me about new items..fml), cleaning, organizing, doing laundry (even hand washing, hand drying, then steaming & ironing pieces afterwards), buy groceries, cook tons of meals, go to the gym, etc,. We lived in an amazing condo right beside the famous Michigan Mile (where all the best stores are!) & I used to pretend I was leaving to exercise or walk the dog when really my poodle Dre & I were shopping at Nordstrom! (eeeek, Jesus take the wheel! lmao) It could be really awesome if it was for a week (maybe..), on vacation somewhere (may....be!) but after 2 weeks, I just couldn't take it anymore!! I'm sure to some of you that may sound like a dream, but for me this was torture. Nails on a chalkboard. That's when I decided to stop being a social hermit & really spend more time with the girls & get involved with the team. The Chicago Blackhawks call their wags group the "Better Halves". It's really about the girls sticking together & being the family away from home for one another. We really have each other's backs & it's cool to have a sisterhood. Almost a sorority. The team works with the girls in organizing fundraisers, spreading awareness for different charities each girl may be passionate about & being good leaders in the community. It really is fulfilling giving back & it's one thing to do it on your own, but to have a large group of women who are all actively & productively putting their heads together as a team to make a difference is far more rewarding. Honestly. For many of the girls, that is their full time job & honestly I think that is pretty amazing.
Well! That was my first experience into the hockey culture. More stories on wag life coming soon. xo
(*name's are purposely omitted in this story)
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